Teen Series, Part 3 - Building Confidence and Self-Esteem

We are diving into confidence and self-esteem—two key ingredients for a fulfilling and balanced life. These qualities not only shape how we see ourselves but also influence how we interact with the world around us.

What’s the Difference Between Confidence and Self-Esteem?:

Let’s start by breaking down the difference between confidence and self-esteem.

Confidence is about believing in your abilities. It’s task-specific and can vary depending on the situation. For instance, you might feel confident giving a presentation at school or work because you’ve prepared well, or you might feel confident in your ability to play a sport you’ve practiced for years. Confidence grows with experience and success in specific areas of life.

Self-esteem, on the other hand, is a much broader concept. It’s about how you see yourself as a person and your overall sense of self-worth. It’s not tied to a specific skill or task but rather to your intrinsic value as a human being. Self-esteem is the foundation that supports your confidence. If your self-esteem is low, even small setbacks can feel overwhelming, and you may struggle to believe in your abilities, no matter how skilled you are. When you have low self-esteem, you may find your self-talk is negative or critical of yourself such as “I won’t be able to do this”, “I am going to fail”, “I am too dumb for this subject” and unfortunately the list could go on and on.

In Australia, studies reveal that 1 in 3 young people struggle with low self-esteem. This can lead to challenges like anxiety, depression, and even poor academic or work performance. Understanding the difference between confidence and self-esteem is the first step you need to take toward improving both of these for yourself. When you know where you stand on both of these, you can take targeted steps to build a stronger, healthier self-image.

Practical Tips to Build a Positive Self-Image:

Now that we’ve clarified the difference, let’s talk about actionable ways to build both confidence and self-esteem. I have 5 practical tips for you:

1.        Focus on Strengths:

At least one a week take a moment to write down three things you’re good at or proud of this week. These could be skills, personal qualities, or achievements you have made. This simple exercise helps shift your focus from what you lack to what you excel at, from a negative view to a positive view. Over time, this practice can help you develop a more balanced and positive view of yourself.

2.        Practice Self-Compassion:

We’re often our own harshest critics. Instead of beating yourself up over mistakes, treat yourself with the same kindness and understanding you’d offer a close friend. For example, if you didn’t perform as well as you hoped on a test or project, remind yourself that everyone has off days and that mistakes are opportunities to learn and grow. We speak so harshly to ourselves; kindness and positive self-talk are an essential component to positive self-esteem.

3.        Set Small, Achievable Goals:

Confidence grows when you experience success, even in small ways. Start by setting manageable goals, like organising your desk or workspace, completing a short workout, or learning a new recipe. Each small win builds momentum and reinforces your belief in your abilities. You can absolutely do this!

4.        Celebrate Achievements:

Don’t downplay your accomplishments, no matter how small they may seem. Whether it’s acing a test, learning a new skill, or simply sticking to a healthy habit, take time to acknowledge and celebrate your progress. This reinforces positive behaviour and boosts both confidence and self-esteem. Celebrating the small wins (such as completing your science homework or cleaning your bedroom) gets your ready to celebrate the big ones.

5.        Surround Yourself with Positivity:

The people you spend time with can have a significant impact on how you see yourself. Seek out relationships that uplift and encourage you. If someone consistently makes you feel bad about yourself, it may be time to reevaluate that relationship. They may not be your people, and that is okay. You will find and resonate with the right people soon. Don’t settle!

The final area I wanted to touch on was Navigating Social Media Mindfully (4 minutes):

Social media is such a powerful tool, but it can also be a double-edged sword. While it connects us and provides inspiration, it can also lead to unhealthy comparisons. In Australia, 41% of teens report that social media negatively impacts their self-esteem. Here’s how you can navigate it mindfully:

1.        Limit Screen Time:

Spending too much time scrolling on TikTok or Instagram can lead to a cycle of comparison and self-doubt. Set boundaries for your social media use, such as limiting it to specific times of the day or using apps that track and manage screen time. Be mindful of this.

2.        Curate Your Feed:

Follow accounts that inspire and uplift you, rather than those that make you feel inadequate or less than your wonderful self. Look for content that matches with your values and interests, and don’t hesitate to unfollow or mute accounts that negatively impact your self-image. If you doubt or self-bad by looking at a post, unfollow!

3.        Remember the Highlight Reel:

Social media often showcases the best moments of people’s lives, not the full picture. It’s important to remind yourself that what you see online isn’t always an accurate representation of reality. Everyone has struggles and challenges, even if they don’t share them publicly. Social media is absolutely a staged highlight reel, not reality.

4.        Engage Positively:

Use social media as a tool for connection and growth. Share your own authentic experiences, support others, and engage in meaningful conversations. This can help you build a sense of community and belonging.

Building confidence and self-esteem is a journey, not a destination. It takes time, effort, and self-reflection, but every small step you take makes a difference.

Remember to focus on your unique strengths, practice self-compassion, and surround yourself with positivity. By doing so, you’ll not only improve your self-image but also create a more fulfilling and balanced life.